'Straight talk breaks no friendship', I really don't know the correct term when this phrase refers to a colleague and not a friend. I believe when a person wants you to do something, for example, a supervisor at work, he/she needs to ASK you to do the task, and not just tell you in a demeaning manner, though it is your job to do the task.
For me I will tell my supervisor when I'm not going to do the task, and I will give my reasons so that there is no ill feelings. If he/she feels my reason for refusing is unreasonable, I would ask for explanation, so that I can understand his/her point of view. This is exactly what I expect from others. We need to be on the same page in order to work pleasantly and we can only be on the same page if we take each other to the same page.
It is extremely annoying when you ask a person to do something, which is not actually an official task, he says 'ok I'll do it'. Later on when he is expected to do the task, he gives lame excuses why he can not do it. To me, such a person has no backbone, he is not man enough to say 'no, sorry I can not do it or I don't feel like doing it'. For that matter for such a request you don't even have to give a reason, when asked a favour a real man/woman will say 'yes/no' and not say yes and behind corners have a lot of negative things to say.
Can you trust such a person with real work tasks if he has such bad tendency? I just have to watch and see!
Who said its easy to lead /manage people??
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Tradition vs Cruelty to animal
Recently I had the most traumatic experience in my life, which is connected to tradition. Relatives had to do a traditional ceremony which involved slaughtering a cow (Kubuyiswa utata wekhaya). We all gathered outside to witness the process that took place inside the kraal. As the elders started officiating the ceremony, the cow became restless inside the kraal causing some chaos. The people started commenting that the person for whom the ceremony is for, was a strong minded person who sometimes did things his own way, he did not take nonsense from people. So the wildness of the cow in the kraal was justified by the family, it was alikened to their father's strong character.
During the cow's restlessness, it charged into the pole (ixhanti) inside the kraal and injured one of its horns. It immediately started bleeding, at the same time they were preparing to slaughter it, but it had to make certain sounds (ikhale) before being slaughtered. It did not respond as expected and family members were now starting to panic as the absence of sound has a bad meaning and the ceremony can not continue.
All the time the cow was bleeding badly. I sensed that the family was really worried about the silence of the cow and the women sitting next to me were on the verge of tears. To the family this is a disaster, they can not continue with the tradition, they think of what could be the reason for the silence of the cow, it is obvious the Ancetsers are cross, but what is it that is causing them to be cross. Also in the village, the family becomes the source of gossip. So there were so many things going through their minds.
For me I was so stressed by the whole situation, and I could not tell which was stressing me more, the cow that was bleeding badly or my family that was in verge of tears worried about the tradition gone wrong, the fact is I was also teary. The situation was solved when elders decided to go to a witchdoctor who told them what the cause of the problem is and it happened to be true. They later continued with the ceremony and despite the cow having lost so much blood and was supposed to be weak to give the require sound, the minute the spear touched it, it gave the strongest sound and verybody was ululating and cheering.
Yes, it a tradition and culutre to slaughter, I just wish the animals could be spared the gruesome torture and pain. I understand that its not intentional to make animals to suffer, its just that I wish something could be done, what could be done?, I really do not know.
It is through these traditional ceremonies that we also get spiritual and physical healing, so we have to do them. All that is needed is for us believers to adhere to the tradition and not think that there are short cuts.
For me, the more I witness these incidents, the more I believe in tradition and culture!! I always wonder whether my kids will follow their family or not on this issue when they are grown ups.
Whatever they decide I still ask God to give them wisdom to make right decisions.
HAPPY READING!!
During the cow's restlessness, it charged into the pole (ixhanti) inside the kraal and injured one of its horns. It immediately started bleeding, at the same time they were preparing to slaughter it, but it had to make certain sounds (ikhale) before being slaughtered. It did not respond as expected and family members were now starting to panic as the absence of sound has a bad meaning and the ceremony can not continue.
All the time the cow was bleeding badly. I sensed that the family was really worried about the silence of the cow and the women sitting next to me were on the verge of tears. To the family this is a disaster, they can not continue with the tradition, they think of what could be the reason for the silence of the cow, it is obvious the Ancetsers are cross, but what is it that is causing them to be cross. Also in the village, the family becomes the source of gossip. So there were so many things going through their minds.
For me I was so stressed by the whole situation, and I could not tell which was stressing me more, the cow that was bleeding badly or my family that was in verge of tears worried about the tradition gone wrong, the fact is I was also teary. The situation was solved when elders decided to go to a witchdoctor who told them what the cause of the problem is and it happened to be true. They later continued with the ceremony and despite the cow having lost so much blood and was supposed to be weak to give the require sound, the minute the spear touched it, it gave the strongest sound and verybody was ululating and cheering.
Yes, it a tradition and culutre to slaughter, I just wish the animals could be spared the gruesome torture and pain. I understand that its not intentional to make animals to suffer, its just that I wish something could be done, what could be done?, I really do not know.
It is through these traditional ceremonies that we also get spiritual and physical healing, so we have to do them. All that is needed is for us believers to adhere to the tradition and not think that there are short cuts.
For me, the more I witness these incidents, the more I believe in tradition and culture!! I always wonder whether my kids will follow their family or not on this issue when they are grown ups.
Whatever they decide I still ask God to give them wisdom to make right decisions.
HAPPY READING!!
Influences within the family
I have always believed that my actions as a parent have an influence on my children's behaviour and attitude in life. This behaviour or attitude might not show while the child is still staying at home, but may do so later in his life and by that time I think it will be difficult to try to change the child. It is a different story whith children that go out of their way to defy parents and do the opposite of good they are taught and what they see at their homes.
I think that the way the eldest child is treated at home has direct influence to how the siblings will turn out to be. I take an example of an eldest son who whilst being a dependant to parents and still at school, he fathers a child to another youngster who is also at school!!, I know children are gifts from God, but really in this day and age is this a situation to be really rejoiced by the parents of either the boy or the girl?
The fact of the matter is that the parents end up taking the child's responsibilities as he/she is not working and is still at school. And now if as parents you do not talk to the child in such a way that he/she feels remorseful for putting the family and his /her future in such a difficult position, the child will see nothing wrong in his behaviour and will probably down the line again have another child because parents are there ready to cover for him.
To me if parents embrace the situation as a 'blessing' than a mistake, the likelyhood is that the siblings will follow suite and have their own babies before finishing school because they have seen from the eldest brother/sister how mom and dad had easily chipped in to embrace the situation.
In no way I mean that such child must be cast away from the family. He must be made to understand that what he/she has done is not the accepted way to start adulthood, and the situation must be used as a lesson to others in such a way that they dare to do the same mistake. We talk to our children all the time about these situations, they are taught at school on good and bad behaviour, they do listen when we talk to them, the big question is 'do they hear when we talk to them?'. Listening when someone talks and hearing what someone is saying are two different things. I always pray God to give our children the 'wisdom' he gave Solomon in the Bible.
God bless you and your family!!
I think that the way the eldest child is treated at home has direct influence to how the siblings will turn out to be. I take an example of an eldest son who whilst being a dependant to parents and still at school, he fathers a child to another youngster who is also at school!!, I know children are gifts from God, but really in this day and age is this a situation to be really rejoiced by the parents of either the boy or the girl?
The fact of the matter is that the parents end up taking the child's responsibilities as he/she is not working and is still at school. And now if as parents you do not talk to the child in such a way that he/she feels remorseful for putting the family and his /her future in such a difficult position, the child will see nothing wrong in his behaviour and will probably down the line again have another child because parents are there ready to cover for him.
To me if parents embrace the situation as a 'blessing' than a mistake, the likelyhood is that the siblings will follow suite and have their own babies before finishing school because they have seen from the eldest brother/sister how mom and dad had easily chipped in to embrace the situation.
In no way I mean that such child must be cast away from the family. He must be made to understand that what he/she has done is not the accepted way to start adulthood, and the situation must be used as a lesson to others in such a way that they dare to do the same mistake. We talk to our children all the time about these situations, they are taught at school on good and bad behaviour, they do listen when we talk to them, the big question is 'do they hear when we talk to them?'. Listening when someone talks and hearing what someone is saying are two different things. I always pray God to give our children the 'wisdom' he gave Solomon in the Bible.
God bless you and your family!!
Monday, July 25, 2011
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read" (Frank Zappa)
This reminds me of a riddle that goes like this- "He who built it sold it, the one who bought it did not use it, the one who used it did not see it", What is this thing built here? - a coffin!!.
Journalists who write about rock are supposed to have some knowledge about rock music. There is so much controvercy about written stories in the media, maybe it is people mentioned here by Frank Zappa who are guilty of scrupulous journalism.
It is common knowledge that when you are a journalist you need to know your target audience, probably this journalist has a way of interviewing people who can not talk, they might be using sign language. In any case this implies that whatever your situation is, you will ultimatley get the news and exposure.
Tough one!!
Journalists who write about rock are supposed to have some knowledge about rock music. There is so much controvercy about written stories in the media, maybe it is people mentioned here by Frank Zappa who are guilty of scrupulous journalism.
It is common knowledge that when you are a journalist you need to know your target audience, probably this journalist has a way of interviewing people who can not talk, they might be using sign language. In any case this implies that whatever your situation is, you will ultimatley get the news and exposure.
Tough one!!
Top 200 achievements
I think the fact that this blog is supposed to be about TOP 200- not just ordinary achievements, makes it more difficult to write. I am almost 50 years old, I think I am supposed to have so much achievements. I started to think about these achievements last week, till today I have not thought of more than my one hand- yes thats true!.
I will mention only those achievements I think are significant to ME!
When I finished my Police training in 1985, that was thee most significant period- it was tough I never thought I will finish the 6 months intensive training!.
The achievement that is ongoing (if there is such), is my marriage, the fact that this year I'm married for 24 years is a great achievement for me, I'm proud of US!!
For me, raising healthy, well rounded children is an achievement, although I think this is also an ongoing excercise, so I can not really say I have achieved more especially in terms of the 3 kids that are still at home.
In 2009 I graduated my PR Diploma at 47 years, attending classes for the first time after more than 10 yrs out of school / lecture room. I had passed more than 5 courses with distinction!! This is the highlight of my achievements.
This is just a few of my achievements, watch this space for more!!
I will mention only those achievements I think are significant to ME!
When I finished my Police training in 1985, that was thee most significant period- it was tough I never thought I will finish the 6 months intensive training!.
The achievement that is ongoing (if there is such), is my marriage, the fact that this year I'm married for 24 years is a great achievement for me, I'm proud of US!!
For me, raising healthy, well rounded children is an achievement, although I think this is also an ongoing excercise, so I can not really say I have achieved more especially in terms of the 3 kids that are still at home.
In 2009 I graduated my PR Diploma at 47 years, attending classes for the first time after more than 10 yrs out of school / lecture room. I had passed more than 5 courses with distinction!! This is the highlight of my achievements.
This is just a few of my achievements, watch this space for more!!
What motivates me?
What motivates me is simple - fear to fail. Whatever task I'm given, the fact that I do not want to be associated with incomplete, and half done tasks, that motivates me to work harder for success.
Some people say that they will be motivated the day they get good salaries. My understanding is the you will get the increase and be motivated, two months down the line you are used in that salary, and you go back to be demotivated.
Working in a conducive environment motivates me. I like my office to be clean and colourfull, work with have motivated colleagues, that motivates me!
More than anything else, my family (children and husband) motivate me more. Everything that I do I want to succeed so that they can be proud of me. Sometimes when I feel tired and think of quiting my job- the minute I realise why I'm working in the first place, that it is to take care of my family and give them the best I can- that motivates me.
There are different things under different circumstances that motivate me!!
Enjoy!!
Some people say that they will be motivated the day they get good salaries. My understanding is the you will get the increase and be motivated, two months down the line you are used in that salary, and you go back to be demotivated.
Working in a conducive environment motivates me. I like my office to be clean and colourfull, work with have motivated colleagues, that motivates me!
More than anything else, my family (children and husband) motivate me more. Everything that I do I want to succeed so that they can be proud of me. Sometimes when I feel tired and think of quiting my job- the minute I realise why I'm working in the first place, that it is to take care of my family and give them the best I can- that motivates me.
There are different things under different circumstances that motivate me!!
Enjoy!!
The 10 most unexpected consequences of being online
1. Twitter- I receive tweets from people I do not know and I have never followed. I think some are not even following me but I get their tweets. I do not know whether it is proper for me to comment on their tweets since they do not know me.
2. Ever since I started to tweet and blog, if I cook one or two of my pots tend to burn!!
3. If I'm online using the laptop in bed, my husband gets cross he does not even get interested even if I tell him something interesting from online - he says online has taken over my life (not true)
4. People post their compromising pictures online, and its embarassing, I'm not sure whether they do it on purpose or not.
5. I sometimes chat nicely with people I do not even know, its amazing!!
6. When online, you tend to get news even before the radio has broadcast it, good one!!
7. If you are not careful, you can loose your valuable information just by pressing the wrong button- like loosing your money through online fraud.
8. The knowledge and information you get online about anything and everything.
9. If you are registered online, you are like a celebrity, information about you is accessible to all the people out there!.
10. When online, you are virtually all over the world, you caht with people from all walks of life.
Wow, this is a mouthfull - the topic says 'list' LOL!!
Hope this list interests you!
2. Ever since I started to tweet and blog, if I cook one or two of my pots tend to burn!!
3. If I'm online using the laptop in bed, my husband gets cross he does not even get interested even if I tell him something interesting from online - he says online has taken over my life (not true)
4. People post their compromising pictures online, and its embarassing, I'm not sure whether they do it on purpose or not.
5. I sometimes chat nicely with people I do not even know, its amazing!!
6. When online, you tend to get news even before the radio has broadcast it, good one!!
7. If you are not careful, you can loose your valuable information just by pressing the wrong button- like loosing your money through online fraud.
8. The knowledge and information you get online about anything and everything.
9. If you are registered online, you are like a celebrity, information about you is accessible to all the people out there!.
10. When online, you are virtually all over the world, you caht with people from all walks of life.
Wow, this is a mouthfull - the topic says 'list' LOL!!
Hope this list interests you!
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