Good grades vs Salary

My son is studying full time at UWC (3rd yr), now he got a part-time job, working from 5pm -9pm from Monday to Friday. I know I should be happy because this means he's going to learn to be responsible and be disciplined with his time.

I am sick worried because he comes home tired then he has to do his school work, I'm talking assignements for 5 subjects. To be honest he's not one of those A students, he works really hard to get C's and sometimes B's. My worry is that with this added workload, his school work might suffer.

I don't want to let him continue then later when I see June results, if they're bad, I must tell him to stop working and concentrate on his books, no, by that time it might be too late, he will be sooo used to the money he will give me 1000 excuses why he must work.

At the moment I'm lobbying my hubby to support me on this, we must convince him to forget about the job. My husband's idea is that we must trust that when he can not cope he will indicate and quite on his own. My worry is that, what if he does not quite.

Eish, I wish I had squashed this job thing during the time of its conception.

Or, Am I worried for nothing?

Please share!!

From scholar to student.

When my last born son finished high school I was sooo happy for many reasons. 1st, no more having my house as aftercare for his friends, no more schoolbags lining in my garage waiting to be fetched after... God knows where they go after school before they are fetched by their parents, mainly, no more invasion of my house (I suspected this happened because we leave 6.30am and return 5.30pm), I'm one of those parents who always think the worst.

These are some of the reasons I was happy high school days were over! I was hoping that it's going to be plain sailing, all my sons are now big men, no more worries.

Knowing from experience how some youngsters behave during the day at campus (loitering, staying at cafeteria and not attending or bunking classes etc), mind you I'm a student too!, now I have a bigger worry. At High school if a child is late for 10min the school sends an sms to notify you, if he has a tendency of not doing homework, you receive correspondence from school to notify you. Now no feedback from school, NOTHING, all I do is to hope that my son continues to have the good discipline he had at high school. Hoping does not make it easy for me as I'm always thinking the worst, now I act like a policewoman, checking his backpack (I don't know for what).

The security of knowing that I have eyes and ears(teachers) over him whilst I'm not there is now gone. At tertiary he just HAS to have self discipline, SELF DISCIPLINE is just all I can preach when we have our small and casual talks, I also don't want him to feel that I don't trust him cause I do, its just that these things do happen and they happen when least expected.

Everyday I leave in the morning I pray God to watch over all my kids and make them conscious and understand how hard we are working so that they can be good citizens.

I wish I could hear what other parents feel about this change.

Happy parenting!!
  

UMGIDI

So much happened during my son's homecoming ceremony (umgidi). The highlight was when the elders told me to do a ritual which symbolises that me and my husband we will never again have a son going to the bush (ukulahla isitshixo). We were warned that if we do the ritual, it means we are sure not to have any more children (as if we're thinking of that, at 50, can I have a bun in the oven? No ways!!!).

I had to have a napkin (new of course, I no longer have my son's) and a bottle of gin. I had to lead in a traditional song (mhh, my sister in law helped me here), she sang a very nice song " u-Ayabulela ligqibelo lam!" -'Ayabulela is my last born'. We went out of the house into the street.

Outside, all women who had gone threw the same process (having children gone to the bush) took part in the ritual, others were standing singing and clapping for us. Those identified women threw the bottle of gin amongst themselves, like passing ball in a netball match. They had to make sure the bottle does not fall and break, otherwise gone is the drink for those who want to drink 'old buck gin'.

After the 1st song I laid the gin on the napkin while other women continued to sing. After a while I opened the gin and poured it on the napkin and lit it with a matches. All the time we were singing and dancing, while I held the napkin burning.The remains of the napkin had to be taken to the kraal (enkundleni) for burning it finished. I was told the remains should not be lying around (to avoid my son being bewitched!!!).

The remaining 'Old Buck gin' was shared amongst women who had done this ceremony for their sons too. Shame, some of my friends had to just cheer on while the spotlight was on women with boys that are already men! It was an experience that we all enjoyed.

I need to post photos but I don't know how!!

Why I have conversationa?

I am one of those people who does not shy away from starting a conversation. Luckyly I have not yet encountered a person who shuts me up. Maybe its because my conversations are interesting and worth listening to.

My career dictates that I talk all the time. Even if I did not take the Corporate Communicatione line for a job, I would still be expected to talk non-stop. The big question is, why do I have conversations. I have been writing about being talkative but the question is about conversations.

There is a difference between talking and engaging in a conversation. A conversation has a meaning, there is another person involved (though you can have conversations with yourself). I have conversationas because I like to engage people, talk about different issues. I believe from any converastion you can learn something.

Many times I have learnt one or two things from conversations I have with my sons. There are also conversations that one needs to avoid or ignore, such as people that start conversations just for the sake of wanting to cause chaos or harvock.

I am also good at ignoring irritating conversations, but when I converse, it is with a purpose.
 

A MOTHER'S LIFE IS NEVER DULL

Everybody is talking about the end of year, how they going to rejoice having finished BTech! Lovely and good for them. But for me I still have a lot in my plate. There is definitely nothing for me to rejoice at this moment.

I have worries that will probably end late in December or in January for that matter. You ask yourself, 'What is your story now Sis Theo?'. Mine is a long story, which started the Friday my son went to school for the last time, attending their Valedictory. Now is the time to be serious, if the child has not been serious the throught the year, staying at home to prepare for exams is really a trying period that need to be used strategically.

Wow, my son, like his mother (mwha) is not really an A student not even a B, we have to work hard to get decent results. But at the moment his description and mine of working hard are totally different, this is point no.1 that is in my plate, I can not help it, I seem to be more anxious about his exams than he is. I pray all the time for the Lord to give me calmness. Are all mothers stressing at this time?

Next on my plate is the fact that the same son is going to the bush as soon as he finished his exams. That is stressing in multiples!!. Again I wish the day would not come, on the other hand he is looking forward to the whole thing!!Oh boy...sigh!!.

I have a lot of other things to worry about, I was just telling two things concerning one child, there's four others!! Ukuzala kukuzisonga!! LOL

100 things to do before I die

What a coincident, to be writing 100 things I must do before I die, when only this morning I heard of death of a family of three. I bet they all had some things they still wanted to do. 

In one of the weekend papers I read of a 95 year old woman arrested for stealing a horse from a neighbour, she later claimed that riding the neighbour's horse is in her bucket list.

Be sure that my list does not include going to jail! This is not by order, but just as I remember:-
*  tour SA especially Mpumalanga and KZN
*  celebrate 25th anniversary
*  go overseas for holiday
*  host any of my son's graduation party
*  be a General before I retire (not entirely dependent on me)
*  own a company, not neccesarily an events company
*  own a house with a big swimming pool (not a pond)
*  get Masters in PR
*  see all my kids get married and I get to have grandchildren
*  do a guest appearance in a soapie/movie

There you go guys, 10% of 100. I'll finish next time.

Take care!!!

TILL DEATH DO US PART!!

Death is never a good topic to explore, but when tragic death happens, you just can't stop talking about it until the particular loss sinks in. When I joined the department in 1985, this lady was one of the few females in the organisation, an automatic bond developed.

We both got married at almost the same year and we both had three children who are the same age group. I was blessed with three boys and she with two boys and a girl. I had always envied her for having a girl.

I last saw her in December 2010 when I was visiting in PE. We chatted for a long time talking about how grown up our kids are and remembering old times.

This morning I got shocking news of her death, her husband and their last born kid, a daughter. They were on their way to drop the child at school and then to work. It is alleged that the other driver hit them on the side, throwing the girl out and they all died at the scene. The other driver is still critical in hospital.

May their souls rest in peace. It is true that when we leave our houses and homes in the morning, we must be in peace with everybody in the house, because you do not know whether you will see them again. Imagine the two boys who said good bye to their parents and sister, within half n' hour people came to tell them they are now orphans! Life can be cruel sometimes!!

God has a reason for all that He places upon us. I hope and pray these kids find their strenght in GOD!