UMGIDI

So much happened during my son's homecoming ceremony (umgidi). The highlight was when the elders told me to do a ritual which symbolises that me and my husband we will never again have a son going to the bush (ukulahla isitshixo). We were warned that if we do the ritual, it means we are sure not to have any more children (as if we're thinking of that, at 50, can I have a bun in the oven? No ways!!!).

I had to have a napkin (new of course, I no longer have my son's) and a bottle of gin. I had to lead in a traditional song (mhh, my sister in law helped me here), she sang a very nice song " u-Ayabulela ligqibelo lam!" -'Ayabulela is my last born'. We went out of the house into the street.

Outside, all women who had gone threw the same process (having children gone to the bush) took part in the ritual, others were standing singing and clapping for us. Those identified women threw the bottle of gin amongst themselves, like passing ball in a netball match. They had to make sure the bottle does not fall and break, otherwise gone is the drink for those who want to drink 'old buck gin'.

After the 1st song I laid the gin on the napkin while other women continued to sing. After a while I opened the gin and poured it on the napkin and lit it with a matches. All the time we were singing and dancing, while I held the napkin burning.The remains of the napkin had to be taken to the kraal (enkundleni) for burning it finished. I was told the remains should not be lying around (to avoid my son being bewitched!!!).

The remaining 'Old Buck gin' was shared amongst women who had done this ceremony for their sons too. Shame, some of my friends had to just cheer on while the spotlight was on women with boys that are already men! It was an experience that we all enjoyed.

I need to post photos but I don't know how!!