Good grades vs Salary

My son is studying full time at UWC (3rd yr), now he got a part-time job, working from 5pm -9pm from Monday to Friday. I know I should be happy because this means he's going to learn to be responsible and be disciplined with his time.

I am sick worried because he comes home tired then he has to do his school work, I'm talking assignements for 5 subjects. To be honest he's not one of those A students, he works really hard to get C's and sometimes B's. My worry is that with this added workload, his school work might suffer.

I don't want to let him continue then later when I see June results, if they're bad, I must tell him to stop working and concentrate on his books, no, by that time it might be too late, he will be sooo used to the money he will give me 1000 excuses why he must work.

At the moment I'm lobbying my hubby to support me on this, we must convince him to forget about the job. My husband's idea is that we must trust that when he can not cope he will indicate and quite on his own. My worry is that, what if he does not quite.

Eish, I wish I had squashed this job thing during the time of its conception.

Or, Am I worried for nothing?

Please share!!

From scholar to student.

When my last born son finished high school I was sooo happy for many reasons. 1st, no more having my house as aftercare for his friends, no more schoolbags lining in my garage waiting to be fetched after... God knows where they go after school before they are fetched by their parents, mainly, no more invasion of my house (I suspected this happened because we leave 6.30am and return 5.30pm), I'm one of those parents who always think the worst.

These are some of the reasons I was happy high school days were over! I was hoping that it's going to be plain sailing, all my sons are now big men, no more worries.

Knowing from experience how some youngsters behave during the day at campus (loitering, staying at cafeteria and not attending or bunking classes etc), mind you I'm a student too!, now I have a bigger worry. At High school if a child is late for 10min the school sends an sms to notify you, if he has a tendency of not doing homework, you receive correspondence from school to notify you. Now no feedback from school, NOTHING, all I do is to hope that my son continues to have the good discipline he had at high school. Hoping does not make it easy for me as I'm always thinking the worst, now I act like a policewoman, checking his backpack (I don't know for what).

The security of knowing that I have eyes and ears(teachers) over him whilst I'm not there is now gone. At tertiary he just HAS to have self discipline, SELF DISCIPLINE is just all I can preach when we have our small and casual talks, I also don't want him to feel that I don't trust him cause I do, its just that these things do happen and they happen when least expected.

Everyday I leave in the morning I pray God to watch over all my kids and make them conscious and understand how hard we are working so that they can be good citizens.

I wish I could hear what other parents feel about this change.

Happy parenting!!
  

UMGIDI

So much happened during my son's homecoming ceremony (umgidi). The highlight was when the elders told me to do a ritual which symbolises that me and my husband we will never again have a son going to the bush (ukulahla isitshixo). We were warned that if we do the ritual, it means we are sure not to have any more children (as if we're thinking of that, at 50, can I have a bun in the oven? No ways!!!).

I had to have a napkin (new of course, I no longer have my son's) and a bottle of gin. I had to lead in a traditional song (mhh, my sister in law helped me here), she sang a very nice song " u-Ayabulela ligqibelo lam!" -'Ayabulela is my last born'. We went out of the house into the street.

Outside, all women who had gone threw the same process (having children gone to the bush) took part in the ritual, others were standing singing and clapping for us. Those identified women threw the bottle of gin amongst themselves, like passing ball in a netball match. They had to make sure the bottle does not fall and break, otherwise gone is the drink for those who want to drink 'old buck gin'.

After the 1st song I laid the gin on the napkin while other women continued to sing. After a while I opened the gin and poured it on the napkin and lit it with a matches. All the time we were singing and dancing, while I held the napkin burning.The remains of the napkin had to be taken to the kraal (enkundleni) for burning it finished. I was told the remains should not be lying around (to avoid my son being bewitched!!!).

The remaining 'Old Buck gin' was shared amongst women who had done this ceremony for their sons too. Shame, some of my friends had to just cheer on while the spotlight was on women with boys that are already men! It was an experience that we all enjoyed.

I need to post photos but I don't know how!!