Influences within the family

I have always believed that my actions as a parent have an influence on my children's behaviour and attitude in life. This behaviour or attitude might not show while the child is still staying at home, but may do so later in his life and by that time I think it will be difficult to try to change the child. It is a different story whith children that go out of their way to defy parents and do the opposite of good they are taught and what they see at their homes.

I think that the way the eldest child is treated at home has direct influence to how the siblings will turn out to be. I take an example of an eldest son who whilst being a dependant to parents and still at school, he fathers a child to another youngster who is also at school!!, I know children are gifts from God, but really in this day and age is this a situation to be really rejoiced by the parents of either the boy or the girl?

The fact of the matter is that the parents end up taking the child's responsibilities as he/she is not working and is still at school. And now if as parents you do not talk to the child in such a way that he/she feels remorseful for putting the family and his /her future in such a difficult position, the child will see nothing wrong in his behaviour and will probably down the line again have another child because parents are there ready to cover for him.

To me if parents embrace the situation as a 'blessing' than a mistake, the likelyhood is that the siblings will follow suite and have their own babies before finishing school because they have seen from the eldest brother/sister how mom and dad had easily chipped in to embrace the situation.

In no way I mean that such child must be cast away from the family. He must be made to understand that what he/she has done is not the accepted way to start adulthood, and the situation must be used as a lesson to others in such a way that they dare to do the same mistake. We talk to our children all the time about these situations, they are taught at school on good and bad behaviour, they do listen when we talk to them, the big question is 'do they hear when we talk to them?'. Listening when someone talks and hearing what someone is saying are two different things. I always pray God to give our children the 'wisdom' he gave Solomon in the Bible.

God bless you and your family!!